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A Birthday Wish For The Billionaires

August 9, 2023

My birthday is this weekend and I only want one thing: to see my girlfriend. Shannon and I haven’t seen each other in nearly six years. Since our last visit, we’ve tried numerous times to see each other, but we’ve been too sick to make the 2,000 mile trip.  Lately, my health has improved enough […]

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I Almost Gave Up On My Dream

June 22, 2023

A few months ago, I almost gave up on my dream of becoming a New York Times Best Selling author. But, in coming so close to giving up, I realized that I will never truly give up on my dream because, when I want something so badly, I just can’t let it go.  Acknowledging this […]

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Where Have I Been?

March 30, 2023

I skipped a month. For the last eight years, I have posted on this blog at least once a month. I did so because I enjoyed it. I loved crafting my thoughts and feelings into words and phrases. I still do. But for the last several months, perhaps even longer, I have been struggling to […]

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Crossing The Bridge

February 1, 2023

June 13th, 2009 began as an ordinary day. There was perhaps a little extra excitement as I drove to a Giants game, expecting an evening of baseball and beer.  Then everything changed.  That day, my world was turned upside down. My life—everything that I had created for myself, all of my future aspirations—began to fall […]

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A Year of Pushing Too Much 

December 29, 2022

This year has been one long push. It began with selling our house in Tuolumne and finding a new one in Vallejo. My health hadn’t been so good in 2021, but by February of 2022, I found myself taking my first long road trip in a decade, even using some of my limited strength to […]

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Housebound for the Holidays 

November 30, 2022

I love the holidays for many reasons. They give me an excuse to eat as much of just about anything as I want. The holidays also involve simultaneous gift giving and gift receiving, which is always a good thing. They even give me a feeling of timelessness, as if the magical season will last forever. […]

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Are You Afraid of The October Slide?

October 27, 2022

It’s that time of year again—time for carving pumpkins, picking Halloween costumes, and eating lots and lots of candy. But it’s also time for something else, something unique to the chronic illness and disability communities, something far more sinister and frightening than your neighborhood haunted house.  I’m talking about the October Slide, a spooky phenomenon […]

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Disability Benefits (And Other Things That Keep me up at Night)

September 26, 2022

My nightmare began with a phone call.  The IHSS caseworker was calling to do an intake interview after I moved from Tuolumne County to Solano County earlier this year. I wrote about the experience back in July, but I left out some of the details because the situation was still in progress, and I feared […]

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Do You Even Sleep?

August 29, 2022

It’s eight in the morning and I haven’t slept yet. In one corner of my room, I can hear the low rattle of my desktop mini fridge. In another corner, I can see the piercing green light from my air purifier. These, among other things, do not help me sleep.  After more than a full […]

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The Process of Proving I am Sick

July 25, 2022

The last few months have been rough. If you follow me on social media, then you know that I have been going through a brutal intake interview for In-Home Supportive Services, which provides me with caregiving hours. You may also know that the intake interview did not go well.  I’m in the process of appealing […]

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