I feel like I should be thankful for every moment that I'm not too miserable to concentrate on my own thoughts. And I am! I'm incredibly grateful, but that mindfulness is hard to sustain when things don't get better.
A few years ago, when I was still on my feet walking the streets, I saw someone stop in the middle of the road and take a selfie. I remember giving a sardonic smile, shaking my head, and waiting for the sound of tires screeching on asphalt. This, of course, was before stopping traffic to... Continue Reading →
One evening a couple weeks ago I woke up from a nap and groggily checked my phone, then my email. Sitting in my inbox was a message from Daniel Jones, editor of the Modern Love column at The New York Times. Even if you haven't heard his name, it's likely you've read, or perhaps even... Continue Reading →
I realized, "Why the hell am I trying to do squats with a piece of driftwood on my back when I can't even go grocery shopping?"
I eventually snap out of it and remember: Oh hey, there's another person here, someone helping me and we're supposed to be working together. But I don't want to work together, not on things I've done alone my entire life ...
I can't remember the last time I saw Kaylie. We went to school together, so it was probably some time after we graduated from high school in 2007. Consequently, our class recently had its 10-year reunion. I couldn't go because I have Lyme disease and ME/CFS, which makes it impossible for me to get around... Continue Reading →
I am always looking to compare treatments with fellow chronic illness sufferers. Unfortunately we have to be our own lab rats because so much is unknown about our illnesses. Below is a list of some of the medications I've tried over the years. I was thinking about adding supplements, but I'd need an entire blog... Continue Reading →
I knew early on in my illness that it could last a long time -- years, maybe decades. I hoped it wouldn't, of course, but as I often do, I feared the worst. So, when faced with the daunting thought of being indefinitely sick, I made a deal with myself: If I didn't get better... Continue Reading →