On a fateful day in late-2010, I went to the gym as I always did. But there was nothing normal about that workout — I became violently ill. Eventually, I lost my ability to walk, talk, and eat solid food.

Before I got sick, I was a bodybuilder who could lift more than 400 pounds. Five years later, at age 27, I was bedridden and too weak to hold a toothbrush. I conducted life through hand signals in a dark room, unable to speak or eat. My only nourishment came from bland, liquified meals. I spent every day lying motionless in bed — my body paralyzed by pain and weakness, my mind hijacked by flashes of crunched metal, broken windshields, and exploding gas tanks.

You see, I killed someone in a car accident. Then, a year later, I became sick during that fateful workout. Doctors blamed my illness on depression and anxiety from the car accident. They told me to see a therapist and take antidepressants. But I was already doing those things and none of them improved my health.

I’ve spent the last decade looking for answers — navigating hospitals and doctor’s offices, and figuring out how to live with the uncertainty of having a chronic illness nobody seems to understand. While I’ve found some answers, I’ve lost many parts of my life along the way. I’ve had to give up my job, my autonomy, and almost all of my aspirations. But there’s one thing I haven’t lost: my story.

While I’ve been sick, I’ve managed to tell my story through essays in The New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Washington Post, and others. But my dream has always been to write a book about my battle with chronic illness. Finally, after years of searching for a publisher, I now have the opportunity to write my memoir. BUT I need your help…

In order to prove to the publisher that people want to read the book, which I’ve titled WHEN FORCE MEETS FATE, I need to sell 750 pre-orders. That’s where you come in…

You can buy as many copies as you want. If you buy the “Super Reader” option, I’ll even put your name in the acknowledgments a chance to get your name in a book. If you can’t afford that option, the ebook is only $10, and if you can’t order the ebook, I would be equally grateful if you would share the link to the book with your friends and followers. Doing so will help raise awareness for ME/CFS and Lyme, the diseases I have, and by association, all chronic illnesses.

You can read several sample chapters of the book on the pre-order website. I also have put together a book trailer for those who want to see a video of what the book is about.

It would mean so much to me if you would pre-order my memoir. Once I hit 750 preorders, the publishing process will begin. Everyone who pre-orders WHEN FORCE MEETS FATE will get their copy (or copies) as soon as the book is released, which I will provide updates about on this blog and on social media. So make sure you follow me for updates.

Lastly, if you have any questions about the book or the pre-order process please don’t hesitate to reach out to me.

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