On a fateful day in late-2010, I went to the gym as I always did. But there was nothing normal about that workout — I became violently ill. Eventually, I lost my ability to walk, talk, and eat solid food.
Before I got sick, I was a bodybuilder who could lift more than 400 pounds. Five years later, at age 27, I was bedridden and too weak to hold a toothbrush. I conducted life through hand signals in a dark room, unable to speak or eat. My only nourishment came from bland, liquified meals. I lived every day lying motionless in bed — my body paralyzed by pain and weakness, my mind hijacked by flashes of crunched metal, broken windshields, and exploding gas tanks.
You see, I killed someone in a car accident. Then, a year later, I became sick during that fateful workout. Doctors blamed my illness on depression and anxiety from the car accident. They told me to see a therapist and take antidepressants. But I was already doing those things and none of them improved my health.
I’ve spent the last decade looking for answers — navigating hospitals and doctor’s offices, and figuring out how to live with the uncertainty of having an invisible illness that nobody seems to understand. While I’ve found some answers, I’ve lost many parts of my life along the way. I’ve had to give up my job, my autonomy, and almost all of my aspirations. But there’s one thing I haven’t lost: my story.
While I’ve been sick, I’ve managed to tell my story through essays in The New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Washington Post, and others. But my dream has always been to write a book about my battle with chronic illness. Finally, after years of searching for a publisher, I’ve now had the opportunity to write my memoir. BUT I need your help…
Will you please consider ordering this book that I’ve put so much into? It’s available for preorder on Amazon. If you can’t afford to order the book, send me a message and I’ll make sure you get one. In the meantime, I’d be grateful if you would share the link to it. Doing so will help raise awareness for ME/CFS and Lyme, the diseases I have, and by association, all chronic illnesses.
You can read several sample chapters of the book on the publisher’s website. I also have put together a book trailer for those who want to see a video of what the book is about.
It would mean so much to me if you would pre-order my memoir. Everyone who pre-orders WHEN FORCE MEETS FATE will get their copy (or copies) as soon as the book is released, which I will provide updates about on this blog and on social media. So make sure you follow me for more details.
Lastly, if you have any questions about the book, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me.